Ephemeral
by Akar
Summary: Sometimes, Yomi dreams. Yomi/Chariot


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Black Rock Shooter.

I wrote this for a prompt on /u/. However, it didn't really turn out how I thought it would, and the way it is now, it isn't very fit for putting on /u/. However, I hope someone enjoys it anyways! Most of it takes place before the anime.

* * *

><p>She looked a lot like Kagari.<p>

She had the hair, of course - Yomi could recognize that hair anywhere, those messy blonde curls, distinctive and beautiful. She had the face, even, in some ways, the air - that feeling of haughtiness, of superiority.

However, she wasn't Kagari. Kagari may be wheelchair bound but her legs certainly didn't _end _in wheels, in curving black metal connected to gold-rimmed discs. It looked very hard to balance on, but the girl did easily, looking relaxed and natural. On her head was a black crown that was spiked like thorns. Her appearance was strange, alien, fantastical.

Yomi reached out to her, slowly. Her arms moved like lead weights. The girl who looked so much like Kagari looked at her and her previously cold expression shifted, softened a little. Her lips curved into a smile, and she raised her arm. It was then when Yomi saw what her hands were.

They weren't hands - they were claws, long and black and sharp, looking like miniature scythes. Yomi's eyes widened. She sucked in a breath, moved to jerk her hand away. At the sight of those hands she felt a sort of deep revulsion. The girl...no, the _thing _before her looked so much like Kagari, but wasn't. She was an anomaly, some sort of alternative of what Kagari was.

The girl approached her slowly. Her wheels were silent as she rolled towards Yomi. For a brief, hysterical moment, Yomi thought, absurdly, that she must keep her wheels very well-oiled, if they could move so smoothly and silently. Her claws reached out and Yomi squeezed her eyes shut, expecting pain.

Instead, Yomi felt a gentle pressure on her cheek. Opening her eyes, she stifled a gasp as she saw the golden eyes of the wheeled girl peering back at her. Her eyes were strange - they were large and deep, the light playing oddly in them. Yomi felt as though if she wasn't careful, she could fall right in to those eyes - fall in and never surface. It took her another second to realize that the girl was stroking her cheek with those claws of hers.

"Who are you?" Yomi said. She winced; her voice sounded like a croak.

The girl said nothing, but she did smile at Yomi again, eyes soft. She leaned in and, gently, swept her cool lips on Yomi's forehead.

The next thing Yomi knew, she was awake in bed, eyes wide, staring into the darkness of her room. Her heart was beating frantically and she placed a hand over her chest. There was no sign of the girl, and Kagari wasn't here. Yomi closed her eyes, exhaled. Behind her eyes she saw checkerboard and macaroons, pink and red ones, dropping from the sky. For a moment, she laid there in bed, breathing quietly in and out, her heartbeat calming down until it was a slow, steady thud against her fingers.

Then, Yomi opened her eyes and got up to go about her day.

* * *

><p>Kagari had a penchant for the disturbing. Sitting on the couch in Yomi's house, she giggled and pointed at the screen, one hand grabbing onto Yomi's shoulder. Yomi, for her part, was concentrated on creating a bracelet.<p>

"Look, Yomi!" cried Kagari. "It's so gross!"

Yomi frowned. Her eyes flicked up at the television screen, briefly, before looking back down at her braiding. "Gross," she said.

Kagari's hand stayed on Yomi's shoulder until Yomi raised her eyes to look at her again. Kagari was frowning, eyebrows furrowed together.

"What's wrong, Kagari?" asked Yomi.

Kagari stared at Yomi for a few seconds before resting a hand on Yomi's forehead. Yomi stiffened - in her memory, the brief image of a haughty-looking girl in a black and white dress and a spiked crown flickered. For a brief, yet all too real moment, Kagari's hand felt like claws. Yomi fought the urge to draw back. It was just a dream, and the girl had been...gentle. There was nothing to be afraid of. Nothing.

"What's wrong? You're sad," said Kagari.

Yomi forced a smile. "I just...had a weird dream."

Kagari frowned. She looked as though she wanted to say more, but instead, her hand dropped off from Yomi's forehead. "Hmm."

* * *

><p>When Yomi laid back in her bed and closed her eyes, she found herself in that strange, wind-blasted world again. It was colorful, large toys scattered everywhere, the walls made out of checkerboard. There was that girl again, the girl who looked so much like Kagari. She had her head down, was concentrating intently on something. Yomi took a hesitant step forward, breathing in the sweet air. It was a dream, but everything felt so real. She wondered if this was what lucid dreaming felt like. The mind is a powerful thing, Yomi felt.<p>

"Excuse me," said Yomi, politely as she had been raised. The wheeled girl raised her head sharply at Yomi's voice, and at the sight of her, her previously impassive face broke into a smile. She got up. With a stab of uncomfortable recognition, Yomi saw that the wheeled girl was holding macaroons, Kagari's favorite.

"Kagari?" Yomi asked. "Are you...Kagari?" She took a few steps towards the silent girl.

The girl, as was her penchant, said nothing. Yomi was beginning to suspect that she was mute. However, the girl raised her arm slowly, offering something to Yomi in her clawed hands. Opening it slowly, she revealed brightly colored macaroons - the pretty ones, not the ugly ones that Kagari hated so much. Yomi sucked in a breath.

"Are these for me?" Yomi asked.

The girl's smile grew wider and she nodded enthusiastically, insistently pressing the macaroons onto Yomi. Yomi guardedly took one from the girl, choosing a pink-colored one. Golden eyes watched expectantly as Yomi ate the colorful sweet. The macaroon gave way under her teeth, filling her mouth with strawberry flavor. It tasted delicious, but then again, Kagari's parents only bought the best macaroons.

"It's good," said Yomi.

The girl looked pleased. Happily, she ate a macaroon of her own and offered Yomi another. Yomi, seeing no reason to refuse, took it. Soon, the two of them were sitting together, Yomi's knees drawn up to her chest, eating the girl's seemingly endless supply of macaroons. There were flavors of every sort, ranging from the more traditional chocolate and raspberry to the somewhat more exotic pamplemousse and rose. When they finished, the girl looked at Yomi expectantly, as though expecting some sort of remark.

Yomi smiled at her. "It was good," she said.

The girl practically beamed back. She reached out to Yomi with her claws. Instinctively, Yomi flinched; she couldn't help it, those claws were so menacing that it was hard to think of them as anything other than instruments of destruction. However, she regretted her action as soon as she made it. Hurt showed in the girl's eyes and she dejectedly drew her claw away.

"Wait," Yomi stammered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-I was..." she trailed off, lamely. What could she say? The damage had already been done. "I'm sorry."

The girl shrugged and shook her head, her eyes looking elsewhere. Her claw laid limp on the ground, next to her gleaming wheels. Yomi stared at it. For a moment, she imagined herself taking the girl's claw in her own hand. It was strange, but...it wasn't bad. It seemed like it would be nice. Yomi's hand moved, slowly, towards the claw.

However, before she could reach it, she woke up. Once again, her heart was beating quickly and she placed a cold hand on her face, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. Glimpses of the checkerboard world flashed wildly behind her eyes until her breathing and heartbeat calmed, until the flashes decreased in quickness, slowing down until they stopped altogether. Yomi took a breath and drew her hand away, ran it through her mussed black hair before retrieving her glasses.

"What's with these dreams?" she asked the air, but it offered no answer.

* * *

><p>"Kagari," said Yomi, cautiously, "have you been having weird dreams lately?"<p>

Kagari glanced up from the dollhouse. "Weird dreams? No..." her brow creased. "Did you have another weird dream?"

"Yeah," said Yomi.

"What are they about?"

Yomi hesitated. What _were_they about? Eating macaroons with a wheeled girl who looked a lot like Kagari? In the light of day, her dreams seemed even more absurd than they did at night. What did it all mean? Yomi was with Kagari practically every day, and though she cared a lot for her friend, Yomi didn't think her need for Kagari extended so far as to haunt her dreams as well. Besides, what would telling Kagari the truth accomplish? It would only encourage Kagari to shut herself away from the outside world even more.

"Um...I don't really remember that well," Yomi said.

"You're lying," said Kagari, turning to fix Yomi with a stern stare. Yomi winced. Kagari was more perceptive than she looked. "It's bad to lie, Yomi. You need to set a good example for our children, after all." As she spoke, she toyed with Mary's hair.

"I've just been dreaming about...wheels," said Yomi.

"Wheels...?"

"In my dreams," said Yomi, reluctantly, "there's...a girl with wheels. She can't talk, but we play together a lot. She looks a little scary, but she's actually really nice, and..." Yomi trailed off once she saw the look on Kagari's face. Kagari was scowling now, her eyebrows drawn together, upset.

"That sounds _stupid_," Kagari said. "We play together all the time! Why are you dreaming about some girl with wheels?"

"I don't know..." Yomi picked at the bracelet she made herself.

"We're best friends, aren't we?" Kagari muttered. "Don't even think about it."

For a moment, the thought struck Yomi that Kagari was jealous of herself; not just herself, but some dream self that could not even speak. Yomi began to laugh, quietly, shoulders shaking. Kagari, noticing this, stared at her.

"What's so funny?" she asked, but Yomi shook her head, raised a hand. That action only served to increase Kagari's agitation. "What is it? This isn't funny, Yomi! Stop laughing!"

Yomi couldn't help it. When her chuckles finally died down, she turned towards a very upset Kagari. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"Just what?" Kagari asked, voice sharp with irritation and impatience.

"It's just that the girl looks exactly like you," Yomi said, smiling.

For a moment, Kagari stared at Yomi. She opened her mouth, closed it, paused, opened it again. "...me?"

"Yeah," Yomi nodded. "She has your hair, your eyes, everything."

Kagari paused as the realization made its way across her features. "O-oh." She looked rather pleased all of a sudden.

* * *

><p>"What's your name?" Yomi asked the moment she found herself in the checkerboard world again.<p>

The girl looked rather startled by the sudden question. She was playing with a miniature mechanical ant, and at the sound of Yomi's voice she gave a little jolt. Looking up at Yomi, the girl paused before straightening up and letting the robotic insect go. For some reason, the word 'Chariot' floated through Yomi's mind, and she knew at once that it was the girl's name.

"Chariot...?" Yomi rolled the name around, testing out the sound of it. It sounded foreign, exotic, grand in a way. It fit the girl before her, somehow. "That's a good name."

At that, Chariot smiled faintly. She knelt down and picked up one of the mechanical insects that scurried about before handing it gently over to Yomi. Yomi took it gingerly, careful not to damage it. Observing it closely, it was made very well, each part fitting smoothly into the others, gears whirring perfectly and silently. It was beautiful, in its own clockwork way.

Yomi said so. Chariot looked pleased with the compliment. Yomi handed it back, though when she did, she noticed with a pang that Chariot was now careful to avoid Yomi's hands with her claws.

Yomi's nights went on like this. She wasn't sure why she began dreaming of Chariot and her strange world, but she didn't mind - it was peaceful, and Yomi enjoyed her time with the girl. Her tranquility even carried over in her daily interactions with Kagari; previously quiet, now Yomi found herself talking more, more engaged in her friend.

Time passed, and soon Yomi entered middle school, much to Kagari's anger - the girl elected to stay at home rather than go to school, and before Yomi left, warned her off making new friends. The first day passed uneventfully - first the principal's speech, then sitting in class, listening to the teacher introduce herself, then break.

And break led to Kuroi Mato. The girl was bright, happy, energetic - Yomi was surprised by her exuberance, her obvious enjoyment of life. Such outgoingness was not something she was used to.

"Wow, you actually made that yourself?" Mato asked, eyes bright with interest as she leaned in to examine Yomi's red bracelet.

Flattered despite herself, Yomi smiled. "It's not that hard. I just braided some strings."

"Braiding..." Mato sounded awed at the very sound of it, as though it was some kind of magic, and Yomi took a liking to the girl almost instantly. It was hard not to - she was so cheerful.

"Don't even think about it," Kagari said when Yomi returned home, her voice flat over the paper cup phone.

Yomi frowned. She wanted to protest, but it was hard to protest against her only friend. "I won't," she said.

* * *

><p>"Chariot?" Yomi whispered that night.<p>

The dreamworld was unsettling this time - the lighting seemed darker, and there were cracks in the checkerboard that wasn't there before. Large ominous masks laid about, broken, and Chariot was nowhere to be found. Before open and free, now the dreamworld was like a complex maze. Yomi carefully stepped around an abandoned doll before walking on, her steps loud in the silence.

She found her in a large open area that one path in the maze opened up to, sitting with her back to Yomi, surrounded by mechanical insects. Yomi looked at her for a moment before taking a cautious step into the clearing.

"Chariot," Yomi began, but Chariot was up before Yomi even finished saying her name - in fact, was right in front of her, eyes shadowed, moving so quickly Yomi had to take a step backwards.

Chariot said nothing, and this time, her eyes weren't warm as they usually were when she looked at Yomi. Now, her gaze was cold - cold and piercing, as though she was looking right into Yomi's heart. Yomi swallowed, hard. Now even Chariot was angry at her...but she didn't even do much, all she did was go to school. What did Yomi do wrong? Was it Mato? But...the two of them barely talked. Could Chariot sense, somehow, Yomi's feelings? Despite herself, Yomi felt the guilt burn in her stomach - she had been disloyal.

"I..." Yomi began, and then trailed off.

Chariot said nothing, her expression unchanging as she grabbed Yomi's hand, somewhat roughly, with her claw. Yomi didn't flinch, however. Though before Chariot's clear alienness bothered her, the wrongness in her wheels and claws, now Yomi had grown to accept it. Something vague, surprise, flickered in Chariot's eyes. Yomi closed her hand around Chariot's claw, holding it. Its texture was cool and hard, reminiscent in a vague way of the mechanical spiders. Yomi stared back into Chariot's gaze, solemnly.

Chariot was, as always, quiet, but for some reason, Yomi heard, ringing in her ears, Kagari's voice.

_Don't even think about it. Don't even think about it._

Was that Chariot speaking, or Kagari? Was there any difference between the two? Yomi didn't know. She felt Chariot's grip tighten, faintly, on her fingers, before Yomi felt herself pulled forward, almost violently, with enough force to make her gasp in surprise, a gasp that was quickly silenced by the feeling of Chariot's lips on her own.

Yomi's eyes widened. Before she could even react, it was over, Chariot pulling away, her face expressionless. Yomi felt, slowly, Chariot's claw letting go of her fingers. There was some sort of terrible finality in that action. Yomi, without knowing, grabbed Chariot's claw again before it could leave completely, wincing at the pain - she had accidentally cut herself on Chariot's claws. She didn't care, however. She took one, two, steps forward, still holding on to Chariot's claw (no, _hand_), before putting her other hand on Chariot's shoulder and kissing her.

Chariot stiffened under Yomi's hand. Her lips were cold, Yomi thought vaguely to herself. She was so cold. Yomi wanted to warm her up, somehow. Suddenly, to Yomi, Chariot's world seemed so lonely. Was there anyone else other than Chariot here? Yomi pressed deeper into the kiss, drawing her arms around Chariot in a hug. Chariot relaxed, slowly, and Yomi could feel Chariot's claws on her back, gentle, careful. She had always been careful around Yomi. The thought of it, the realization, made Yomi's heart clench painfully. Chariot had, despite her claws, despite her alienness, never tried to hurt her.

Yomi pulled back, looking into Chariot's eyes. The coldness was gone. What was left was a look of faint surprise and bewildered happiness.

"Don't go," said Yomi, softly.

Chariot stared at her for a moment before smiling gently. She raised a claw up to stroke Yomi's cheek again, the way she did on the night of their first meeting. Yomi closed her eyes and leaned into it.

When Yomi awoke, her sheets were tangled and she felt, for some reason, a clenching pain in her heart. When she raised her hand to the ceiling, she saw that she had cut her fingers.

Her eyes widened as questions filled her heart. She let her head fall back on the pillow, stared up at the dark ceiling. Sunlight was beginning to filter in through the curtains, but Yomi thought it should be okay, if she laid here a little longer. With a slow, steady exhale, Yomi closed her eyes.

There was no checkerboard world this time, and no Chariot. For some reason, it felt like when Yomi kissed Chariot there in that strange dreamworld, she left a part of herself behind, but when Yomi put her hand on her chest, her heartbeat was the same as it had ever been.

Maybe the dreams were just dreams. Maybe Chariot and her strange world had never been real.

"Chariot…" Yomi said aloud in the empty room, testing the sound of it, foreign and strange in reality. She looked at the cuts on her hand. They were faint and already fading, ephemeral as a dream.


End file.
